A Coming-of-Gender Story
#SissyTheBook
Jacob’s debut book: a heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and giggle-inducing memoir about what it's like to grow up not sure if you're (a) a boy, (b) a girl, (c) something in between, or (d) all of the above.
Buy Sissy at your local independent bookstore or via: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powell’s, BAM, IndieBound, Apple Books, Google, or Kobo
From the moment a doctor in Raleigh, North Carolina, put "male" on Jacob Tobia's birth certificate, everything went wrong. Alongside "male" came many other, far less neutral words: words that carried expectations about who Jacob was and who Jacob should be, words like "masculine" and "aggressive" and "cargo shorts" and "SPORTS!"
Naturally sensitive, playful, creative, and glitter-obsessed, as a child Jacob was given the label "sissy." In the two decades that followed, "sissy" joined forces with "gay," "trans," "nonbinary," and "too-queer-to-function" to become a source of pride and, today, a rallying cry for a much-needed gender revolution. Through revisiting their childhood and calling out the stereotypes that each of us have faced, Jacob invites us to rethink what we know about gender and offers a bold blueprint for a healed world--one free from gender-based trauma and bursting with trans-inclusive feminism.
From Jacob's Methodist childhood and the hallowed halls of Duke University to the portrait-laden parlors of the White House, Sissytakes you on a gender odyssey you won't soon forget. Writing with the fierce honesty, wildly irreverent humor, and wrenching vulnerability that have made them a media sensation, Jacob shatters the long-held notion that people are easily sortable into "men" and "women." Sissy guarantees that you'll never think about gender--both other people's people's and your own--the same way again.
Praise for Sissy:Naturally sensitive, playful, creative, and glitter-obsessed, as a child Jacob was given the label "sissy." In the two decades that followed, "sissy" joined forces with "gay," "trans," "nonbinary," and "too-queer-to-function" to become a source of pride and, today, a rallying cry for a much-needed gender revolution. Through revisiting their childhood and calling out the stereotypes that each of us have faced, Jacob invites us to rethink what we know about gender and offers a bold blueprint for a healed world--one free from gender-based trauma and bursting with trans-inclusive feminism.
From Jacob's Methodist childhood and the hallowed halls of Duke University to the portrait-laden parlors of the White House, Sissytakes you on a gender odyssey you won't soon forget. Writing with the fierce honesty, wildly irreverent humor, and wrenching vulnerability that have made them a media sensation, Jacob shatters the long-held notion that people are easily sortable into "men" and "women." Sissy guarantees that you'll never think about gender--both other people's people's and your own--the same way again.
"We need shinier, sparklier thinkers in the public eye. With a signature style matched only by their wit, Jacob fits that bill perfectly."
—Alan Cumming
“Refreshing, courageous, and important [with a] feisty candor and wit. . . A funny, sharply observed, and intelligent journey into self-identity.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Sensational. Gut-punchingly hilarious and full of heart, this is a book that’s sure to change your outlook and how you relate to others. Sissy is guaranteed to make your mascara run from happy and sad tears alike.”
—Tyler Oakley
"Genderqueer and nonbinary voices are too often silenced in mainstream conversations about gender. It's why we need writers like Jacob Tobia, who offer us more inclusive visions and provide readers living beyond the binary reflections of themselves."
—Janet Mock
"Jacob Tobia’s story is one sent from the Goddess Herself. Truly inspiring, hilarious, heartbreaking & honest — Jacob’s thrilling truth will have an overwhelming impact on the LGBTQ community and beyond; giving insight to what it means to be trans and genderqueer. I am honored and grateful to be part of any community that Jacob is in."
—Jesse Tyler Ferguson
“As someone who has served as an icon and role model for gender-fabulous people for decades, it’s been wonderful to watch Jacob blossom. Their energy, verve, and luminosity of self bring joy to so many, and I’m confident that Sissy will do the same.”
—Miss J Alexander
"Dear men, please read this book. Whether you’re sensitive, bold, gay, straight, pan, bi, creative, analytical, or don’t even know who the hell you are, this book is a blueprint for healing our gender-based trauma from the inside out. It’s brilliant and important and I couldn’t put it down.”
—Jay Duplass
"Jacob is a unique and inspirational voice for living your truth. I love their personality and message, and I can't help but creep on their Instagram ;)"
—Gigi Gorgeous
"Sissy aims its glitter cannon at all binaries, delivering, even in its final pages, a surprising amount of empathy to those who have not always been Jacob’s allies. This is required reading for every human being on the planet who wants to do better and be better. Buy the book and learn something about yourself, then send it to your problematic relatives."
—Garrard Conley
"In a world full of digital noise, Jacob's words cut right to the heart. A Mindy Kaling meets Roxane Gay treasure, Sissy proclaims what we all know to be true: gender nonconforming people are a powerful part of the past, present, and future."
—Tommy Dorfman
"Gender nonconforming people like Jacob aren’t just a passing phase or a cool fad, they’re a fundamental part of our human family. Through embracing and empowering nonbinary people, we empower everyone to live a more authentic, glittering life. As a writer and an artist, I'm thrilled about what Jacob has to say.”
—Dustin Lance Black
“Sissy explores the power of determination, identity, and acceptance of self and others. I recommend the read.”
—Cooper Hefner
"Most of the time in this world it feels like I’m drowning — we all walk around playing pretend, telling ourselves stories so that we don’t have to confront the things that lurk beneath the surface. And it’s not so much that Jacob’s work has ‘rescued’ me from drowning — rather it’s taught me that maybe there is something generative about remaining here — underneath — in the places and spaces and conversations that people avoid. It’s this commitment to honesty — in its most visceral sense — that makes Jacob so exceptional and precious."
—Alok Vaid-Menon
“This is a book that every parent should read. We owe it to the next generation to raise children who celebrate gender diversity and are empathetic towards themselves and others; Sissyencourages just that. I couldn’t be more proud of what Jacob has written.”
—Judy Shepard
“In a world that often pressures us to conform in order to be accepted, it is refreshing to hear Jacob Tobia's perspective. Jacob's style, charisma, humor, wit and truth telling are authentic to Jacob and I wouldn't be surprised if this book becomes a much talked about example of one way to own ones truth no matter what others may think. The world needs Jacob's voice, offering us all permission to be our truest selves.”
—Sara Ramirez
“Filled with penetrating insight into what it means to live a life between genders that will also make even the straightest, cissiest reader cackle.”
—Meredith Talusan
“As someone who came out as gay while playing in the NBA, I can say firsthand that being yourself against all odds takes guts. Through standing up for gender nonconforming people and living their truth for all to see, Jacob is blazing a similar trail. This book is yet another step on Jacob’s courageous road.”
—Jason Collins
“For any young person who’s currently struggling with their gender, Sissy will be a source of strength, power, and much-needed laughs. From start to finish, Sissy is the kind of book that the world needs more of.”
—Jazz Jennings